When my husband and I were dating, one of his best friends had this really jealous girlfriend. We will call the friend George and the girl Kelly just to make it easier.
My husband would come home to visit after not seeing his friends in months, and Kelly couldn’t stand that George wanted a few days of guy time. They spent all their time together, and she still hated to give him up to spend time with his best friend! Kelly was jealous of my husband and that George wanted to hang out with him. Selfish right?
I also hadn’t seen my then boyfriend in several months, but completely understood that it was just as important for him to be with George and his other friends as it was to be with me. That just made sense to me because that is how I would want him to react. Well this made me look REALLY awesome, which is always nice when you are dating and getting to know your significant’s friends. The comparison was drastic.
Kelly was a nice enough girl, but the minute she started whining about George leaving to be with the guys she became as ugly as you could imagine. When a man’s friends thing the woman he is dating is childish and immature, the relationship usually doesn’t last. No one wants to be around someone who is grabby and needy and selfish. It isn’t endearing and certainly not flattering.
Sometimes it can be hard to let people have space, especially when we want to be with them. The nice thing about space is that people come back wanting more of you. When you are apart, you appreciate when you are together.
Have you ever been like Kelly? Sometimes those feelings creep up, but it is important to let people have space. Why not suggest a guys night out, and take the opportunity to spend some time with your girlfriends too!
Hubby sporting his mustache for the “March Mustache Madness” competition that we do at work. Needless to say he won the competition, and the facial hair is now gone!
I just have to say…. I have a great guy!
Since I have started school and he has finished for a bit, he has been such a huge help around the house.
It is really nice to feel like I have a partner and teammate in life.
I hope you are as lucky!
The best thing is that I didn’t wine or nag to get his help. I just helped a lot when he was in school and he noticed and wanted to return the favor.
He also does a few things that I hate doing (making the bed, emptying the dishwasher) which is great.
So that’s why I had to tell everyone how great he is and how much I appreciate him!
Marriage is about being in a partnership. It’s about give and take based on needs and wants.
Love is service
Just something to think about…
When I was in high school I didn’t date, but I did start thinking about the kind of man that I wanted to spend my life with.
I am more of a get to the point person; I didn’t want to waste my time dating guys that weren’t potential marriage material.
My three highest criteria were that he:
- Have high character and moral values
- Was someone that I could respect
- And be someone that respected me
Maybe that sounds like common sense, but maybe you, or others you know, have been in a relationship where those basic concepts were absent?
Thankfully, I found and chose a wonderful guy!
My friend and I were chatting the other day and we came to the conclusion that the little things that sometimes irk us about our husbands are totally irrelevant when we consider their high character.
If you don’t have a relationship with someone with character and respect, you can’t make it.
If you do have those things, you can overlook and chuckle about little annoyances (not changing the toilet paper).
Sometimes it is hard to think objectively about a person when we are in like on the way to love, but it was the most important thing I did to ensure that I was making a commitment to a quality person.
What are some of the qualities that are important to you in a partner?
Recently I started telling my husband a story about an acquaintance I had made and their kids. Something shocking had happened and I thought he would be interested. I started my story and part way through he said, “Why are you telling me this?”
I was put off for a second, but realized that he was right. I was taking FOREVER to get to the point. He couldn’t figure out why I thought this was relevant to us, and where I was going with it.
Thinking some more on it, I realized that women communicate with each other differently than men. (NO DUH!) When I talk to my girlfriends the experience of the story is just as important as the content and point. This needs to switch a bit when we talk to our husbands.
My husband wants to know that what I am telling him is important and relevant to us in some way. If I had prefaced my story with “Hey, this weird thing happened and it’s making me think about how we will raise our kids someday”, he would have had some idea about where I was going. There would have been a point from the beginning and my story would have made sense.
This doesn’t go just for stories, but everything! It is important that any time we communicate with our spouse we are clear and effective. We can avoid confusion, frustration and hurt feelings when we get to the point.
Although not directly related, I thought this post from Art of Manliness on making an effective pitch was helpful when learning more about effective communication with my spouse.
Have you ever had your spouse wonder, “why are you telling me this?” How have you learned to better communicate with your partner?