Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.

I would also describe this phenomenon as false hope, wishful thinking, pipe dreams etc.

Sometimes we get stuck in a way of thinking that keeps us where we are when we want to moving somewhere else the whole time.

This dawned on me the other day at the grocery store. I have been struggling with a wrist injury that doesn’t seem to want to heal all the way. It has been 10 months and although I have gone to the doctor and modified my movements I am stuck at about 60% better. I am grateful for the 60%, don’t get me wrong, but I have stalled out and keep wishing and hoping for something to change.

The thing is… deep down I know what I need to do. I need to completely rest, not just modify so it doesn’t hurt, and eliminate foods from my diet that might be adding to inflammation (dairy).

I have known this for a while, so why do I keep fighting it and thinking something will change anyway?

Fear maybe? Fear that my injury won’t get better? Fear that I can’t stick with the diet and workout changes I need to make?

Yeah I think that’s it.

Then I started thinking about how this applies to everything!!

Our money situation won’t change if we don’t. Our career situation won’t change if we don’t. Our health won’t change if we don’t. Our relationships won’t change if we don’t.

When it comes down to it, we must change if we want our lives to change. There is no way around it. No amount of blaming our situation on someone else that will change it.

I MUST CHANGE.

And deep down I know what I need to change. I didn’t need someone else to tell me, although sometimes it isn’t a bad thing if someone does. I know in my heart what my life needs to be better.

Do you need to change? Have you been acting insane?

Do you need to stop spending money you don’t have?

Do you need to be nicer to your spouse and change your behavior rather then trying to change them?

Do you need to stop talking about your career goals and actually do them?

Do you need to make a commitment to your health and stick with it?

If you are like me and need to change something, stop acting insane. In the words of Nike:

Just Do It

I am level one certified, recently started assistant coaching at my gym Kitsap CrossFit, and have been doing this workout programming for over two years.

After all this time I only have one complaint.

It stems from an experience I had a few weeks ago…

I was in the grocery store and saw one of my fellow gym members and said hi.  They said hello back and then jokingly (but seriously) said, “Don’t look in my cart!”

Her comment bothered me because it meant that people at the gym felt judged about the way that they eat and live their lives and that is the opposite of how I want people to feel.  It reminds me of people’s complaints about church!

Although CrossFit gyms advocate Paleo and Zone eating, and having any grains in your cart is a supposed no no, life needs balance. Nutrition is a process of growth and learning.  And most importantly, no one is perfect and I don’t think there is a need to be.  Balance makes people happy and sane, so if you want pizza every once in a while go for it.  I do!

My point is that grace and acceptance of yourself and others is way more important than being perfect nutritionally.

Please don’t think that because I eat well 80% of the time, I am bothered by you indulging 20% of the time.

And if I see you in the grocery store, you don’t have to cover your cart, I am not judging!

This has been very apparent to me recently as I am almost exactly one year away from separating from the Navy.  The past four years have gone by so quickly even though at times it felt like forever.

It is really dawning on me how I am entering a new phase very shortly and need to get my plans in order.  Amidst all that though are the daily tasks of  life.  It would be easy to get sidetracked from health and wellness, school, my relationships, and work by this looming future, but that would ultimately make me fall behind.

For me to be a whole person, fully alive, I need to be balanced and press onward with all of my goals while making specific plans for my future.

I just started my third class of the year for college, that means that goal is completed!  Yay!

Health goals are still going well and I am on track for my weight loss goals. Yay!

My husband and I are enjoying life together and actively discussing our life after the Navy.  Yay!

We have more in savings that we have ever had, and will leave the Navy with a nice security savings fund.  Yay!

I am looking into school options and real estate job options as a plan for when I get out.  Yay!

Major life changes don’t happen every day.  That would be exhausting!  But everyday we can prepare for major life changes by being diligent to create the kind of life that can weather storms and sunshine.

I am excited for the future and what it will bring!  I hope you are too!

What is on your horizon?

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It has gone great! Here are my ending stats:

Total pounds lost in 4 weeks: 6.5

Total inches lost from waist and hips: 2

Total body fat percentage lost: 3

I am very happy with that and proud that I was able to do it and keep the promise to myself.

But the question lingers in my mind: “Where to now?” 

I am still a ways from my goal and feel motivated to keep going, but would like to make a few tweaks.

The past week or so I have been doing some reading on Ketosis and LCHF(low carb, high fat) diets.  It is somewhat similar to Paleo/Zone in terms of real food and no refined carbs, but the difference is MUCH MORE FAT.

The concept is that carbs (even ones from vegetables and fruits) still raise our blood sugar while dietary fat keeps insulin low and therefore blood sugar low.  After a few weeks of a high fat low carb diet, instead of burning glucose for energy, the body will transition into burning fat for its energy needs.  Its more of an even keel physiologically and provides a sustainable energy source.  I am interested because my one complaint this past month was that my body was craving more fat, even with a high protein intake.

I believe in low carb, because the past thirty or so years since people started recommending high carb low fat diets obesity rates have skyrocketed.  Obviously it isn’t working!  But it is still hard to wrap my head around the concept that fat (even saturated fat) is good for me.  I am in the baby stages of learning about this all, but it resonates with me.

So… I am going to continue to weigh and measure my food and eat Paleo plus dairy, the change is that I am upping my fat intake considerably.  Doing the Zone I was actually only eating 1300 calories a day and was shocked how low it was!  I will be keeping my protein and carb intake roughly the same, but increasing my fat intake so that I am eating 1600 calories a day.  I am excited to see the results and will let you know how it goes.

If you are at all interested, here is a video link to a lecture from Gary Taubes, the author of “Good Calories, Bad Calories” and “Why We Get Fat”, that he gave at CrossFit Training. 

Also, here is a lecture by Dr. Peter Attia.  He is a great lecturer and has experimented and tested the outcome of this diet on himself.

Lastly, a video of a Swedish doctor Andreas Eenfeldt describing the positive changes happening in Sweden as the LCHF diet is gaining popularity.

I have been thinking about fear lately and the role it plays in my life.

Recently Jon Acuff has written some great posts on fear in relation to our passions and aspirations and it has got me thinking.  What am I afraid of?  Do I believe in myself?  Can I really be successful at: my relationship, my future, my blog, my health?

Fear is one of the most driving human emotions.  It fuels our flight or fight response.  Will I fight for my…(you fill in the blank) or run from it?

In regards to a relationship, having thoughts like “can we make it long term”, “can we get through this”, and “will it always be like this” are natural.  They indicate that we actually care!  However, we can’t live our life in response to these fearful tendencies.

Living in response to fear causes us to be wimps.  We won’t push beyond comfort zones and challenge ourselves to grow.  Fear becomes a self-full filling prophecy.   If I think I can’t make it, I am right.  Not because I don’t have the capacity, but because I don’t have the discipline, willpower, or courage to get me there.

Thankfully, we don’t have to stay living from a place of fear!!

Courage can grow as knowledge, experience, and practice give us confidence.  So whatever it is you are afraid of and believe you can’t do…you can.

You CAN lose weight.

You CAN have a thriving relationship.

You CAN be happy.

You CAN live out you passions.

Just fill it in for yourself!

I know that for me it has been life changing to admit my fear, and start the process of moving through and one day beyond it.

The alternative is much worse…a life of disappointment, forgotten dreams, unreached goals, and the knowledge that you could have been more than you were.

What are you afraid of today? What would build your courage to believe in yourself?

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Trigger and I on our most recent family hike in the Olympics.

So my husband has been gone in the Olympic Mountains this past weekend with a friend.

Time by myself is often revealing because I have to stand on my own again.  I get so used to having him around and having an interconnected life that it is hard to switch over for a few days.

It has been nice though.  I took the dog out with me places, had lunch with a friend, cleaned out the garage for our gym space, did homework, listened to podcasts, and watched movies that he wouldn’t wanna watch with me.  Nothing out of the ordinary, but different when I am on my own.

It makes me feel more independent to have this time by myself.  I sit down and think about who I am and want to be because I am not distracted by the normal routine.  I think by re-centering myself it ultimately makes me more attractive to my husband because it reawakens all the things he fell for when we were dating.

In the daily grind of life it is hard to stay vibrant and not get bogged down by to do lists, chores, and routine.  Sometimes, it is nice to wake up from the fog of the daily grind, and be filled with ambition and the motivation for greatness!  It isn’t that I don’t feel that in my normal life, but it is re-energized when I am by myself for a few days.

Nothing has changed.  No new revelations.  I just feel more energized for blogging, business school, CrossFit, nutrition, faith, family, friends, and my husband.

Ultimately, although having him gone gives me a chance to recharge, I am always excited for him to get home!  Life isn’t meant to be lived alone, and all the accomplishments in the world feel meaningless without people to share them with.  I am appreciating my relationship, life, and all that I have been blessed with!

Are you feeling blessed today?

Do you need some recharge time?  Even a few hours makes a big difference!

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One of the things I wanted to work on was my nutrition and weight loss goal.

I am now into my third week of doing a combination diet of Paleo and Zone.  It is going really well so far.  I feel good and am trimming up.

The biggest change however has been in my realization that accomplishing goals like this take 1 big thing to be sustainable:  Time.

Most people can be disciplined and focused, but usually only for a short time.  I included myself in this category for weight loss.  I would eat well for several days, even a week and then “not see results” and then have a “cheat” meal that would lead to falling off the healthy kick.  The thing is, no one sees real results after a week!  Sure you may lose a few pounds of water weight, but real change happens over time.  A month, two or three of real discipline and focus will create change in behavior which should be sustainable for lasting results.

Whether it is weight loss, starting a business or blog, improving you relationship, getting out of debt, or whatever you may want to do, don’t forget that it takes time!

Here is a great formula I got from Dave Ramsey:

Success=Focus+Discipline/Time

Success is focus plus discipline OVER time.  Stay focused and disciplined long enough and things will happen.  Pretty encouraging!

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One of our coworkers, in response to his silliness, asked me how often I feel like a mom and how often I feel like a wife. He quickly followed the question with, “You don’t have to answer that!”

I said I didn’t mind answering because I rarely feel that way. Instead of looking down on silly behavior as childish, I think it’s great and funny! It’s a choice. It would be easy to take on the mom viewpoint in response to that behavior. Thinking to myself, “Grow up, stop acting immature, be a man.”. But that destroys relationship and makes him less than me in my mind, not my equal partner in life.

In our first year of marriage it was a learning process of choosing to respond in a way that was healthy rather than destructive. But it was and is definitely a choice.

Do you ever feel like a mom to your husband? How do you combat those feelings?

Most people would say yes.  We generally use good manners with coworkers, friends, and people we encounter out in society.  But are you polite to your spouse?

I have heard it said that most of us treat strangers better than our own family.  We are patient, courteous, and kind to someone we don’t know well and those we work and socialize with, but it is easy to forget those qualities around family.

The great thing about family is the deep connection and knowledge that they love you.  We feel like we can relax and have our guard down with them.  This is great, but we can’t let this freedom translate to no social filter.  Acting rude, entitled, and unappreciative is still hurtful to family.

In my family we have manners!  Please, thank you, and your welcome are very common words in our house.  I really love when my husband thanks me for making dinner or walking the dog, and he likes it when I thank him for unloading the dishwasher or folding the laundry.  All this politeness really adds up!  It creates positive and loving interactions that build trust, which makes us better able to deal with challenges.

Recognition is a great motivator and great for developing and keeping trust and goodwill.

Some would say that there is no reason to thank someone for something they should be doing anyway.  But that type of attitude (assuming and selfish) takes advantage of people and destroys an opportunity to create a loving interaction.  Why not recognize the effort and appreciate it instead?
Most of us want to have great relationships.  Using manners, and being appreciative is a great way to start.

Do you notice and recognize what your spouse does to contribute?

If you could improve, try to say thank you today for something they do today and mean it!

We had a great time going all over Washington and Idaho backpacking and seeing nature, so it was a little tough face the reality of work.

I just tried to keep in mind that the jobs we have allow us to do the things that we want.  And I don’t have much to complain about, I play music for work!

It is nice to be home and get back into the routine of life with my husband and dog.  I like routine…I thrive in it!  Eating healthy.  Working out.  Reading.  Going to school.  Blogging.  It is all great stuff!

These next few months before our next vacation at Christmas we be full of preparing for what is next.  I have just over a year left in the Navy and have some planning to do.  It is finally dawning on me how soon it will be over and what was my life for the last five years will totally change.

Until then I am back in the groove.