Tag Archives: Art of Manliness

Food for the Decision Fatigued

11 Nov

Usually, my husband and I eat pretty well. Organic ingredients, humanely raised meat, and farmer’s markets are just part of our life.

Wednesday night however…pizza.

Why? Well sometimes after a day full of decisions and choices we get tired of making the “right” decision. So we do the easy thing and eat less than healthy.

Has that happened to you?

After work, I went to the gym and swam laps, then went to a great voice lesson, all the while planning to go home and make a healthy dinner. As I am leaving my lesson and am on the way to the store, I crossed a mental line and was just done.
No motivating me to cook after that point!

I guess this must happen to lots of people because already prepared foods have become so popular. They are everywhere!

This reminded me of a GREAT post I read over at Art of Manliness, “Bookend Your Day: The Power of Morning and Evening Routines”.

The section that I directly experienced is decision fatigue. Here is a portion of that post:

The New York Times recently highlighted psychologist Roy Baumeister’s work on decision fatigue. According to Baumeister, we all have a finite amount of willpower that we can expend during the day, mental energy that is depleted by every decision–big or small–we have to make. In our crazy, hectic, modern life, we’re inundated with choices. Should I check email or work on this memo? Do I surf Art of Manliness or The Economist? Should I lift weights or run today? Should I have Sonic or Arby’s for lunch? If I go to Sonic, should I get a coney or a burger? You get the idea.

By the end of the day, our willpower reserve is running on empty which results in us being irritable boors, making poor decisions, and taking the path of least resistance. When given a choice between going to the gym or playing video games, we’ll choose video games. Write 500 words for our important work memo or surf the web? Mindless surfing here we come!

While it’s possible to increase the amount of willpower we have at our disposal, Baumeister suggests an additional tactic in the fight against decision fatigue is to manage our mental energy more efficiently throughout the day. One way we can do this is by making positive behaviors or important tasks routine parts of our day. When something becomes routine, we no longer have to think about it–it’s set on autopilot. Instead of having to use willpower to decide whether or not you’ll work out that day, you simply work out because that’s part of your morning routine. The less you have to think about doing something, the more likely you’ll actually do it. That’s the power of routines.

I have added morning and evening routines to my life, but sometimes I get lax and when I do so does my decision willpower.

The solution: make more of my life routine so that I can eat healthier or _______ (fill in whatever you have been slacking on here).

We have the power to change our lives and live out our goals! Take some time and develop a routine this weekend.

Why Are You Telling Me This?

30 Sep Couple

Recently I started telling my husband a story about an acquaintance I had made and their kids.  Something shocking had happened and I thought he would be interested.  I started my story and part way through he said, “Why are you telling me this?” 

I was put off for a second, but realized that he was right.  I was taking FOREVER to get to the point.  He couldn’t figure out why I thought this was relevant to us, and where I was going with it.

Thinking some more on it, I realized that women communicate with each other differently than men. (NO DUH!)  When I talk to my girlfriends the experience of the story is just as important as the content and point.  This needs to switch a bit when we talk to our husbands.

My husband wants to know that what I am telling him is important and relevant to us in some way.  If I had prefaced my story with “Hey, this weird thing happened and it’s making me think about how we will raise our kids someday”, he would have had some idea about where I was going.  There would have been a point from the beginning and my story would have made sense.

This doesn’t go just for stories, but everything!  It is important that any time we communicate with our spouse we are clear and effective.  We can avoid confusion, frustration and hurt feelings when we get to the point.

Although not directly related, I thought this post from Art of Manliness on making an effective pitch was helpful when learning more about effective communication with my spouse.

Have you ever had your spouse wonder, “why are you telling me this?”  How have you learned to better communicate with your partner?

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